Hello !
I'm coming back from a hiatus! Hooray! Been missing me a lot huh ? *say yes say yes* lol hahaha :')

Of course I have a lot of thing to share. After have been missing for months I guess *I forgot when was my last post* there were lot of things happened to me. Somes were happy stories somes were so frustrating me and now, I don't even know how to start with! duh! My previous posts were mostly kind of happy posts but when it comes to a midnight thought, I couldn't arrange my thought in a well manner. I just don't do well in managing ideas or thoughts at night so.. just.. you know me bruh. *ghahah why must it be bruh?* That's why I love midnight talk, I am a really emotional woman if you know me well *ceh, turning 21 dah kan; not a girl anymore*. Well basically if you wanna know me well, have a midnight talk with me and I'll tend to tell you everything about me; precisely. Guess what, I can even cry while telling you guys about what I've been through in my life or even writing my post. I write with my heart in it. Well it happens during night only. Maybe? There's a lot of things going on in my mind right now. It's messed up and I.. am fucked up! I just cannot make up my mind right now KAH!

I wanna say.. I kinda..

I..

I need a getaway maybe? Hah. In your dreams! Dude, I just need to let this anxiety attacks and sleepless night commence. As soon as possible :'( Only if I have moneysssssss. Duh!

It has been a tumultuous period to me and I just... feel like going somewhere that there's no one else there except me and someone that I could hug and cry for hours!

Oh come on, it's 2016. Turning 2017 real soon. And I had lost lot of peoples that I loved in this fucking year. Guess what, 2016 is just not my year. I left peoples and karma hits me so bad. Not to forget, I did friend-zoned people a lot too until few of my closed friends did asked me "How many more people do you want to friend-zoned?". Well it's not that, tbh, I am still finding someone like the one that I really loved. He was so long gone yet never get faded in my mind even until now but the problem rn is.. I never give chance to anyone else to take his place in my deepest heart :') I thought I've found one, but.. No, still not a right person. I can say, he's amazing to me if he can really make me completely forget everything about my kind of 'first love'. Ahh. Whatever, I've lost him and I am just doing fine; so what..?

Anyway, this is ain't the main idea though. Ape masalah tetiba cakap pasal lelaki oh come on. Life is so wonderful to be stuck in only 'love-problem' ppuuih hahaha

Well yeah. It's turning 2017 and I just need some words for me to let whatever that I should've let go.

Maybe this is a letter to myself; one day if I get stuck in the same situation, I hope I don't forget this :)

Dear pretty lady,

You are precious. You are a classy lady with a big heart . You are allowed to make mistakes. You are only human. And a human commit mistakes. It's normal and nothing so wrong with it. Human best learn through their mistakes. Mistakes give you experiences. And experiences teach you about life. In life, we need skills. Skill to deal with obstacles. Don't you ever say that you are regret of meeting someone in your life. Someone came because god let them to enter your life; indeed whatever happened in our life are all with his permission *in a simple word*.  I know they might hurt you. Either a lot or a little. But hey, see it in a different perspective. You've learnt something from them right? The lesson you've gotten is something precious. Remember to always see the best part of them? Making mistakes is human and to forgive is divine remember? Forgive and forget. Learn how to forgive people even if you never received their apologize. We ain't get nothing if keeping revenge. A deep hatred will born. Why hate them when you can love them instead? Make yourself someone that they regret of losing. It's the best revenge that you could ever do. Dear my love, heart is where you put your love. Love and hatred shouldn't be come out from the same place, because love is pure and hatred is a spoiler to your genuine love. Unluckily, they're coming out from the same core. So, the best way is, don't hate so easily.

You can get sad, it makes no wrong, love. But investing your tears for someone that leaves you, would never worth it. I know we'll never get a proper time for a real 'good-bye' in our life and it is the most saddest episode in our life. I do wonder sometimes, why does that term existed. A 'good-bye' often appear as an unexpected-sad-event that ever happened in our life. Most 'good-bye' leaves us with tears and a gr-umping feeling inside. It seems like, there's no 'good' in the byes.. But hey, peoples are temporary! Even the world we live on is also temporary. Everything we are having right now are all temporary; nothing stays. So does peoples around us, no exclusion. Human changes my dear. They make their own ways. They do change their minds. They do having thought to make their life better. They do remove unimportant peoples from their life. Perhaps they regret of letting you out from their life. Don't expect neither hope on others. Remove the word hope in your 'life-dictionary'. They doesn't exist. People can leaves you without even saying goodbye but you just know that is a goodbye sign. Even worst when you realized it later. It's hurting, it leaves scratches to your heart but, we ain't got any power to control what's happening. Well, you've gone through many good-byes within 20 years of living but, you're just doing fine right? Know your worth my dear. If they don't worth your time, feelings or anything from you, let them go. Don't beg them to stay. Be kind. Always. Smile and have fun.

Take a deep breath, it just a new beginning. Life has so much new doors for you to explore. Don't keep yourself staring at the same door that has already closed. Lock that closed door or seal it forever and move on to a new door. Explore a new place. You have so much exciting things to do with your life. If you keep staring at the closed door, you are just wasting your time. For how many more time you want to stand there and keep staring at the closed door? For how many more time you want to waste by staying still there and benefit nothing to others? Move on! Of course moving on doesn't take a day. Poison leaves us bit by bit anyway. Your experiences are your history that can be a guide to others anf your future you as well. Be a heroin, girl! Be someone that is just beyond your capability-imaginations! Unleash whatever you can do the best. Be happy- always! Remember, I love you more than everyone else does, love :) Keep going and stay being a classy woman!

With Love,
Yourself

Okay done. I meroyan malam ni maybe sebab rindu kot. Kot lah kot. Rindu sapetew. Rindu berblogging k . K senanya.. Tak sure I senanya rasa apa -.- kah! Tapi it drives me crazy somehow. Ajajajajajajajajaja kbye goodnight. Woiy tidur sekarang, esok kene kejut orang tua tu bhahahaha *sempat lagi*




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